Friday, 23 July 2010

Virtual Love

Just watched a sweet little show on Channel 4 about internet dating from the point of view of 20-something girls - men lie about their height, the girls stalk them and blog about them, the men suddenly fall out of love, the girls don't give up, the girls love the e-mail buildup although the reality is usually a disappointment.

I loved the show but wondered why it was only about 20 something women. Because we're all at it and as someone of a certain age whose boyfriend of the last year or more has just left me to go back to his ex-wife a few days after asking me to live with him, I can certainly resinate with it all.

I have been back on the web shopping for a new man - or at least seeing what is out there. Is it just me that thinks that most of the men of my generation look very unhappy and a lot like serial killers - and the women all look wonderful. I agree with my younger sisters, men do generally lie about their height, often about their age (at least the older lot ) and they do use old pictures - although the last two are just as relevant to women according to my men friends who use virtual dating.

We're all creating a fantasy self to hook someone in - and of course then reality sets in. I learnt a lot from the TV show about the featured girls stalking their internet dates on Facebook although I couldn't be bothered to do that; googling them; going through all their virtual photograph albums and constantly digging into their secret lives. I must say this never occurred to me until I saw said recent ex is back on the dating site I met him on - or more likely was never off - and was once again trawling through the site despite going back with said wife.

So I am looking again on and off line - while asking myself why. After a long, fairly painful marriage and a number of deeply numbing love affairs, surely I am old enough to give up. But no, I am still holding out that my prince is out there somewhere - and if not, at least it gives me a break from just focusing on work. It's like eating chocolate - which I'm trying to give up - or shopping for shoes - it's fun, silly, unreal and addictive. Meeting someone through real life is far more appealing but you never know ...perhaps I'll start blogging on my virtual dating adventures this space,
Love Lynne


  1. A friend of mine registered at an internet dating site as a man so that she could check out her competition. Her discovery was that there were thousands of men on there and only 400 women. And this was when the whole Bridget Jones sad single women thing was at its height. I have to say that I internet dated for as long as it took me to realise that I was actually quite a catch and there were LOADS of single men all very keen to meet someone like me. It was the confidence boost I needed at the time. As far as I can tell, being completely happy being single is the best sure fire way to meet someone. It happens every time you decide that, actually you are better off on your own thank you very much.....

  2. Exactly, it happens when you don't in the least expect it to, and maybe don't even want it consciously.
    I met my current boyfriend on, the american version of i was looking for my old college girlfriends/ roomates.. anyway, we hadn't seen each other in 37 years.
    someone from your past is probably not going to go pyscho on you.. or hold too too many surprises.. there is a safety net built into it somehow.. i could never do the internet/dating stranger thing.. no way

  3. Never ever give up on chocolate or love!

    You are love Lynne and love will find you again.

    Robin Sparks
    Oneworld ltd